Tuesday, October 27, 2015

When a Costume Is More Than a Costume

Since it's Halloween week I started posting some pics of former Halloweens on my facebook page  and it brought back such memories.  The first costume I made for Matt 
Maybe that's why his favorite fruit to this day is a banana. 

Matt has been pretty easy to costume.  He's been a monkey, a frog, that Plunger Headed Hero, Larry Boy (fans of the VeggieTales should know who I mean), and several Star Wars permutations: a Storm Trouper, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker and Anakin.  Sometimes creating the costume was a challenge (I used a pattern for the monkey and the frog, but Larry Boy was originally a pattern for a pumpkin, and the Anakin pattern was for a pirate).  One year he was Spiderman.  I bought a pair of spiderman pajamas. I felt like a cheater since I hadn't made the costume.  But I did make coverings for his shoes and web-slingers for his arms, so it wasn't a total cheat.  And a mask.  Once he was Super Mario.  There were 3 Super Marios at the Fall Festival that year, but our homemade costume was definitely the best. 

Since she was able to talk, Brianna has always been more of a challenge.   She was a ladybug (I used a turtle pattern to make the shell.) I still had that costume in the closet when we moved from Texas when she was going in to 6th grade.  So cute!  She was Bob the Tomato to Matt's Larry Boy. 

And her "cheat year" she was a giraffe.  I saw a really cute giraffe jacket at the store and I couldn't pass it up.  I did make her some kind of lower-half outfit out of brown velour though, so again, not a total cheat. (Of course, I think it was 100 degrees that night in southeast Texas).

Then things started getting complicated.  I feel like every single Halloween costume after that involved tears, many of them were mine, as costumes just didn't measure up. First was the year she told me she wanted to be a Disney Princess.  Which one, I wanted to know?  "That one"  was, I think, the best she gave me.  Wanting her Halloween to be perfect, and knowing I couldn't compete with Disney, I bought the costume, straight out.  Snow White.  Oh my gosh was she cute.  Except, Snow White was not "that one."  Looking back now, I think she might have meant Cinderella, but I'm still not sure.  The best part of that night was after it was over and we were back home.  Matt had been Darth that year, with a borrowed "helmet," and when we got home at the end of the night, she put it on with her Snow White costume.  She was perfectly content to be Darth White. 

She's been Cleopatra and Princess Leia.  (she rocked the Princess Leia costume by the way, and I think that year we might have escaped tears)

One year she wanted to be Ariel (the Little Mermaid).  I slaved on that fishy costume, and she loved it...right until the time came to go to the Fall Festival.  Then suddenly she would only hide behind me.  I figured once she was around her friends she would go and play, but nope, she hid behind me all night, and no one saw the cute costume, with the "shell" bag for collecting treats.  So here she is. 

Another year she wanted to be Hannah Montana, rock star.  She loved Hannah's long, straight, blond hair.  But  the "mermaid wig" had been such a disaster, I didn't know how we would do it.  She said we could just straighten her hair and then spray it blond.  Nice thought, but for two things.  We started early and we straightened it...yay, even if it would never be "long."  I'm pretty sure it took more than an hour to straighten her curly locks. But then we sprayed it.  First of all, blond spray on dark hair doesn't really turn it blond.  Nope.  Second, those sprays are moist.  Think with me...what happens when you spray moisture on curly hair that's been straightened?  If you guessed "curls" or "frizz" you would get a prize.  Oh the tears...

By now I had pretty much given up on costumes that could never make her happy.  It seems she always wanted to be something she wasn't.  And she thought she'd get her perfect image from that costume.  But the costume never measured up....And funny, the mask I was trying to wear didn't measure up for me, either.

You see, way back more than 20 years ago, I had the vision of being a perfect mom.  And among the things a perfect mom does is make her children's Halloween costumes.  (or at least a perfect mom who sews).  Even before we had kids I found myself longing for the day when I was a mom and could make my kids' costumes.  (It was one of the hazards of working in a fabric store...I saw all those perfect moms doing just that).   It's hard when your standard of perfection is not what it should be.  In fact, perfect mom-dom has nothing to do with Halloween costumes.  And to be honest, there is no such thing as perfection in a mom's world.

Being a mom means loving your kids absolutely.  Unconditionally.  It means selfless giving too them, but also disciplining them.  It means your heart will be broken...and so will theirs.  It means you'll have epic fails, and occasional successes.  You'll have to change plans at the last second.  You'll have to watch your kids fail sometimes...and be there to scoop them up off the ground.  It means you'll be jealous of those parents who appear to be doing it better...and all the while they are jealous of you.  Sometimes they'll say "Thank you," but a lot of times they won't.  Sometimes they'll say "I love you", but sometimes they'll shout "I hate you."  (When they are teenagers, a lot of times they'll shout "I hate you"...if they are talking to you at all...) It's simultaneously less than I expected and more than I could have dreamed.  But it's definitely not a costume you can put on.  You wear it all day, every day.  For 18 years (who am I kidding...I'm pretty sure once you put it on you can never take it off).

I am a mom...it's who I am.  No costume disaster can diminish that.  No epic fails can take that away.  God will continue to use me to love and nurture my children despite my failures, because he's the one who made me a mother.  "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" (Philippians 1:6)

I haven't told you about the last costume I made for my daughter.  She was a witch...a cute witch...a beautiful witch.  And her costume was fantastic, if I do say so myself.  That was the year my daughter opened the bag of dum-dums I intended to give out as treats.  And ate every last one of them.  I found the wrappers stuffed in the couch.  And I said she couldn't go trick or treating because she'd already had all her treats.  We compromised.  She went out, early, in our neighborhood.  Then she brought back the treats, put them in our treat bowl, and we handed them out to the next kids that came along.  I'd call that a Halloween success!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Dogs and Cats

I took my loveable German Shepherd, Lyric, on a walk this morning, as I do every day.  It's good for her, and good for me.  It's our routine.  Twice a day we go around the block that is our neighborhood, rain or shine or blizzard cold.  Except Sundays, when I take a Sabbath rest and skip the morning constitutional.  Now that school is in session and the weather is cooler, we go around 8:30 am.  And usually our evening walk is right after dinner.  Lyric knows that when I get out my socks and tennis shoes it's time to go.  (Seriously, the only time I wear tennis shoes is for these walks, so if she sees me in them she goes nuts!) If I don't get around to it soon enough she comes and head butts my leg, c'mon mom!

So we headed out this morning and weren't very far along when from behind me I heard a woman shout "Rascal, NO!" followed by a lot of barking.  I turned to see Rascal charging at us, and Lyric looked and started pulling too.  Despite Rascal's bark, we were not afraid, since Rascal probably weighed all of 5 pounds.  Our 40-pound (as our daughter calls her) "fun-sized" Shepherd could have eaten Rascal for lunch, but she really only wanted to play.  Clearly Rascal's owner was not in the mood for play and called for him to stop, NOW!, so we continued walking, all the while looking back to see if he had.

When we finally faced forward again we found, not 10 feet in front of us, a hissing, back-arched cat.  Giving me whiplash, Lyric now pulled the other way, angling for the cat.  Clearly the cat was not amused.  She tried to hold her ground while I tried to hold mine, on a leash.  Finally the cat gave us a  wide berth and walked away.  And Lyric sulked, thinking I'd cheated her out of more fun.

Sometimes things that interrupt your routine are just that: opportunities for fun.  Taking a break from your plan for the evening in order to spend a couple hours braiding your daughter's hair.  Not being able to concentrate on the reading you wanted to do because your son is alternately playing drums and guitar in your basement and he fancies heavy metal grunge, which to your brain is like fingernails on a chalkboard, only louder. But you're so happy to hear him doing the thing he loves.  Things that make your daily walk a little bit interesting.

But sometimes the dog isn't a pipsqueak pup but a teeth-barred wolf, famished and stalking.  And you turn and see from the other direction a prowling lion staring you down.  And you're stuck in the middle and frankly don't know what to do.  (I know, I know...wolves and lions don't occupy the same habitat...just work with me here). Sometimes your enemies are bigger than you, and you can't whistle a happy tune or find any lyrics to sing, and it's all you can do to hold your ground, and you really, really just want to make it out alive.  But we are besieged on all fronts.  Helpless.  Hopeless. 

"When he (Jesus) saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." (Matt 9:36)  "I am the good shepherd.  The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.  The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep.  So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away.  Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it.  The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.  I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me." (John 10: 11-14)  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.  Resist him, standing firm in the faith..." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Do you know what I'm talking about?  Are you there now?  We made it through our walk by taking another step, and another.  And I think that's how we'll make it through this chapter of life as well.  We take another step and another step and another step. We hold tight to our Shepherd, who has compassion on us.  And holding fast to God, we trust Him and take another step.