Friday, December 14, 2012

Light in the Darkness




I first wrote this 6 years ago, as a tragedy was taking place just down my street.  It seems incredibly appropriate to republish it today.  My heart breaks for all those families, and for the lost innocence, and cries out "come, quickly, Lord Jesus."  




Light in the Darkness

It was a week from hell.  A friend, a young mother with two young daughters, is diagnosed with breast cancer.  Another, whose children are the same ages as my own, is rushed to the ER with severe chest pains.  My mom e-mails that she’s been getting tired and winded very quickly, so she has seen a doctor.  Twice before she’s had cancer—this time it’s a rapid irregular heartbeat.  She’s on medication for 3 weeks, and then the doctor will “shock” her heart into a regular rhythm.  Until then, there’s a concern for blood clots and stroke.  My sister-in-law, whose twin sister died almost exactly a year ago in a tragic car crash, now loses her mother to cancer just a week before Christmas.  And on my own street, in a quiet suburban neighborhood, not more than a few doors down, two women are killed.  Fear and police activity fill our street as a teenage neighbor is arrested for the murders.  We try to shield our 5 and 7 year olds from the ugliness as they see police cars and television crews, but there’s no shielding ourselves from the world gone dark.  I’m overwhelmed.

And so, a week before Christmas, I sit in the pew as we begin to sing “O Little Town of Bethlehem.”  On the second line, tears begin to fall, “…above thy dark and dreamless sleep…”  That’s what I feel—the darkness and dreamlessness.  The world seems to have been overtaken by the prince of darkness.  There is so much pain and grief and suffering; how can we endure?  And why all this suffering at Christmas, the season of good cheer?

Despite my flood of tears the song continues.  Though I am unable to sing, I hear the words, “…yet in thy dark streets shineth the everlasting light…” and I know the darkness is temporary because there’s a light in the darkness that can’t be put out.  Psalm 139:13 says “Even the darkness will not be dark to you…” and Ps. 18:28, “my God turns my darkness into light”.  That’s exactly what Christmas is about.  John tells us, “The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.” (John 1:9) God entered our world at Christmas to be the light of the world.

Recently I learned when Jesus said, “I am the light of the world,” it was at the end of the feast of tabernacles.  This festival was known for the beauty of its lights.  A ring of lights from camped pilgrims surrounded Jerusalem, and in the temple courts a giant menorah burned for 7 days.  But at the end of the feast, the light in the temple courts was put out, and as the pilgrims prepared to go home it felt like the world was plunged into darkness.  That’s when Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12) God is the God of time and of timing—when our world is plunged into a darkness we can’t understand, he says, “let there be light.” And he says “I am the light.”

That night I turn out the lights in the living room and just turn on the lights on my tree.  As I look at the lights I remember God’s words, “The people living in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.” (Matt 4:16)  And from the prophet Isaiah, “I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.”
(Is 42:16)

Despite the darkness of this world, there is a Light that darkness cannot overcome.  I will let that Light be my guide.


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Stainless Steel French Door Refrigerator

When we looked at the house that we eventually bought, the owner had a stainless steel refrigerator in the kitchen.  It looked great with the stainless oven and microwave and dishwasher.  We had our realtor ask if she was willing to leave it.  The answer was no.  Now, we had a perfectly good side-by-side refrigerator that is not even all that old...less than 5 years.  But it is white, and definitely clashes with the other stainless appliances.

We are forever trying to impress on the kids the difference between "wants" and "needs".  And no, they don't NEED a new Playstation 3, or another pair of tennis shoes, or an iPhone 17.  And we didn't NEED a new refrigerator...but it sure would be nice...

When we moved in I told Mark, let's keep our eyes open for a sale, some good deal, maybe a close-out floor model.  It could be a year or two, but let's just look.

A couple nights ago Mark went to Home Depot for a new grill brush for his new grill...we had left the old one behind in Texas, deeming it not worth the move due to its age and condition (funny, a doctor once told Mark he should get a flu shot, saying, "well, at your age and condition...)  Anyhow, he walked in the door, and what did he see but a close-out, french door, stainless steal refrigerator, formerly the floor model, at a discounted price.  He came home and told me about it, and the next day we went to take a look.  Yup, just what I had been looking for.  At a deeply discounted price.  With an extra $200 off in a "buy more/get more" sale.  Too good of an offer to pass up, at nearly 30% off.  So we are now the proud new owners of a bouncing baby refrigerator.

I look at it and I know that this will not bring lasting happiness.  Things of this earth rarely do.  The only thing I like as much now as I did when I got it is my husband (despite the fact that he bought me something with an electric cord for my birthday :) ). (Just kidding...he bought it two days after my birthday).  And my kids (some days).  And a few friends :) (you decide if you're one of them...j/k)

Clothes shrink or fade in the wash.  Gadgets get out-dated or wear out.  Appliances break down. I find out that my bar height kitchen table is not comfortable to sit at for extended periods of time. The stuff of this world is only stuff, and does not last forever, or bring lasting joy.  "The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the Word of our God stands forever." (Isaiah 40:7) Only what is from God lasts forever or brings lasting joy.

But for now, I'll look at my stainless steel french door refrigerator and smile.

In other news...the bifold door on the pantry is broken, today my toilet wouldn't flush, and we still need to get our roof repaired.  Oh, the joys of home ownership.  maybe next time we'll buy new construction :)  (or course, that's a week or two away :) )

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Beauty in the Desert

I first began to appreciate the desert about 10 years ago, when Mark and I were able to take a trip to Big Bend National Park, on the border of TX and Mexico. Although our springtime trip missed the desert blooms by a couple of weeks, we still were able to marvel at all the life in the desert, and the beauty in the barrenness, finding once we were out in it that it really wasn't as barren as it appeared.  Life flourished in the desert...it was just a different kind of life than we were accustomed to.

Fast forward about a decade, and I'm beginning to choose to see the beauty in the desert once again.  As the weather begins to get  (infintesimally) cooler, as homeownership finally draws closer, as we begin slowly by slowly (a favorite Kenyan phrase) to establish a life in Arizona, I am able to see the beauty here.

Over the last few weeks I've enjoyed morning walks in the neighborhood across the street with Lyric. One morning when it was particularly cool I  began to see the refreshing beauty in the local landscaping.  I shot some pictures on my phone: (if I actually knew what I was doing in inserting pics into a blog, I'd be dangerous...as it is, I apologize that they are not in a beautiful, scrapbook-like display...you get what you get and you don't throw a fit)


 



 


 
Not only did I notice the beauty of the landscaping, but also the added beauty of the doors.  These are not front doors, as in this neighborhood you can't even see the fronts of the houses. What you see are driveways and garages, and walls...big concrete/stucco walls that surround the properties.  But through many of the walls, at least in this neighborhood, are beautifully colorful doors...entrances that say "you are welcome, despite the wall that has been built."  Entrances that say "even though I am desert, I don't have to settle for drab." 

And so, I am seeing the beauty around me.  And I'm choosing to see the desert metaphors in my life, as I think God is speaking volumes here as well.  I'm reminded of lyrics from a song we frequently sing at church,



Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
 
And I'm reminded of these verses from Isaiah 35 "The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.Like the crocus it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God"
 
As we continue to adapt to life in the desert, I'm praying that we continue to seek out the beauty, and to listen to God's voice and see His handiwork in our lives.

 

Friday, September 7, 2012

Arizona Weather Observations

Okay, we've been here more than a month now, and the kids have been in school for 4 weeks.  Here are some of the things I've noticed in Arizona:

1. Weather Alert Radio: it's not just a test.  I've heard at least half a dozen "emergency alert" buzzes for storms.  I don't remember ever hearing any in Houston, even when Ike was blowing into town.  However, they don't interrupt the entire morning's broadcasting schedule to show you that it is raining.  Houston, take a memo!

2. Today there is a flash flood alert for much of the South East Valley...one community registered 2.8" rain.  Huh? A couple weeks after Brianna was born there was a storm with 22" of rain.  Of course, in AZ, 2.8" is a whole monsoon season's worth of rain.

3. I love the doggie door...except on days like today when it's raining...and the dog comes in with wet paws...

4.  Haboobs:  those are those big dust storms that blow into the valley.  Yesterday I was in one that was 2500 feet tall and I think they said 30 miles across.  Watched it approach when I went to pick Matt up from football.  It's just wild to watch.  Kind of like fog...but made of dust/dirt.  Visibility reduced to less than 1/2 mile.  In some cases, Much less.

5. I don't care what anyone says, there's no such thing as a dry heat...hot is hot.  The sweat runs down the small of your back when you walk a dog if it's a hundred outside regardless of how much humidity there is.  And you need a shower after the walk either way.  Also the reason why the dog hasn't gotten as many walks.

6. It's hard to understand the term "cooling trend" when the weather is going down to 103 degrees.  A couple days ago the weather man said "notice the cooling trend" while the weather chart showed one day at 106 degrees and the next to 103 degrees.  How is that cool, and how is it a trend?

7. I'm becoming addicted to the Food Network and HGTV.   What does this have to do with the weather, you say?  Think about it...

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A "What Were We Thinking" Kind of Day

Woke up too early today (I could say that every day since we've been in Arizona...my body clock apparently hasn't adjusted to Pacific Daylight Time)...but ready to explore "the new neighborhood". 

First, I had to call our auto insurance to change plans since we have moved.  UGH! Apparently between a new state and a ticket Mark got this summer (shhh, don't tell him I told you), insurance is going up $300/6 months.  Yikes.

Then, just before I was going to leave the house, our realtor called.  Yesterday we gave the seller a list of repairs we would like based on the homeowner's inspection.  Will meet with our realtor tomorrow after Mark gets back in town, but one component was some roof damage, and the seller has said she won't repair, although she will make an allowance of some sort (will find that out tomorrow, too).  Now we need to get a roofer to inspect the damage to see how extensive it really is.  Only, we've had a lot of rain lately, so a lot of homeowners have discovered leaks in their rooves (isn't that the plural of roof...like hoof and hooves?), and it's about to be a holiday weekend, and we are definitely on a deadline.  I think the wind went out of my sails.

Then I drove to our new location.  Only I turned into the subdivision at the wrong street.  After snaking my way through, I found my way towards our home, but had to drive the long way by the elementary school that is a block from our house (and there's no way to get to the house without passing the school).  And I was there at Kindergarten pick up time.  What a traffic jam.  And no, it's not just because it's the first week of school.  Chandler schools started back in July.  I can't yet imagine the traffic jam at the end of the day.

From the neighborhood I decided to find the nearest Jo-Ann's store.  i haven't decided yet if I want to go back to work there, but I thought I'd check it out.  I think the nearest store is about 10 miles away (the same as in Kingwood).  Except it's all city streets.  With stoplights.  Which I hit.  Every one.  By the time I got to the store, I was fairly sure I didn't want to work there, a thought that was confirmed when I went inside.  I didn't get that "lovin' feeling" if you know what I mean.

I also was looking for the nearest grocery store.  Only I don't think there is one.  Seriously.  I drove several different directions from the house, but didn't find anything close.  Or any other stores for that matter.  I'm sure they're out there.  Somewhere.  But I'm feeling like we are going to be living in quite an isolated area.  Did I mention that we will drive by a dairy farm every day from school/church?  Everything in the valley is very built up...except the area where we are going to live.  I'm used to the Kroger a block away. 

I didn't get lost on my drive, but there were several times when I couldn't get where I was going.  Exit ramps from the freeway, but no entrance ramps.  Ugh! More frustration.  I was very happy to get back "home" (to our temporary dwelling), but it was one of those days...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Limbo



Somewhere, in one of the many boxes that contain my photo albums (not the ones that contain my scrapbooks...those are different boxes, and there are many more) is a picture of my friend Janice doing the limbo.  No flames involved.  Single, and much younger, we had gone on a cruise together.  One of the cruise ship activities was a limbo contest.  Janice decided to try it.  No small feat when you are 5 feet 12 inches tall.  But she tried it...which is way more than I did.  I knew I wasn't very flexible and didn't want to make a fool of myself.

I'm still not very flexible.  And this move is making me bend way backwards.  and sometimes it feels like there are flames involved.  Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's definitely not easy or comfortable, when you're not flexible. 

Right now we are living in limbo...somewhere between the old life and the life that is to come.  Almost everything we own is in boxes, in the garage or in a storage unit a half mile down the street.  Several times in the last couple days someone has asked for something that we own...only it's in a box somewhere, and without opening a bunch of boxes I can't find it.  And I really don't want to open any boxes because there is nowhere to put anything that's in them.

And then there is what to do to fill my day.  I haven't moved in 18 years, so I really don't remember well, but i'm sure my first few weeks in Texas were filled with getting to know the area that we were living, getting to know the grocery store, getting driver's license renewed, etc.  But here, in Limbo, we don't have an address yet, so I don't want to get my license renewed.  We don't know what neighborhood we will be living in, so I can't really get to know the neighborhood, and since I don't know where we will be living, I don't even know which grocery store I will be shopping.  So i'm getting to know Savannah and Matt, Natalie and Al, and Kelly and whoever she is with at the moment, and Ellen.  Haven't met Judge Judy yet, but i'm sure she'll be along soon.

Yesterday we made an offer on a house.  I hope we will get it since it really feels like it would be right for our family.  But our realtor tells us again and again, "Don't fall in love with the house until I put the keys in your hands."  Deals fall through all the time. (and our deal hasn't even been accepted yet, so really don't fall in love with it yet.) 

And so, I continue to do the limbo...


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Starbucks Lady Made Me Cry

She didn't mean to.  All she did was ask me how my day was going so far.  It was only 8:45---so how risky was that question? 

First day of school.  First day of lots of change.  Tears like a river, and as far as I know, they're all mine.  I thought we were doing okay.  Everyone got up when I asked them.  No one complained about breakfast.  Or their uniform.  (Okay, there was a little bit of complaining about the uniform, but much less than I expected).  We weren't having a bad hair day (as far as I know). And we left in time to get to school on time. (Not necessarily a given).

Can I just say that I have never cried on the first day of school.  (Well, except maybe when I was teaching).  The first day of Kindergarten...smiles and dancing a jig.  Second child first day of Kindergarten...happier jig.  First day of Middle school, not a problem. I really didn't think today would be any different.

But when we got to school, the kids got out of the car and began to walk across the parking lot.  Mark met them half way (he was already there for Bible study this morning).  One of my children proceeded with no problems.  The other one lagged behind.  Then when Mark was walking this child, the child said, "I hate this school already."  When the child walked into the building, Mark came back to me and told me.  And the tears began.

This is so hard.  And it's not just because my child is hurting.  It's hard because I can totally relate.  No, I don't hate school (and I know this is going to be a great one), but it's the meeting people thing.  And I know exactly what my child is feeling. I don't want to go in either.After the kids were dropped off there was a meet the parents coffee.  I was going to go.  But I couldn't drag myself in.  I didn't want to meet any new parents. 

So instead, I drove out of the parking lot, tears in my eyes, and drove to Starbucks.  Where I paid $4 for a cup of coffee. Because I wouldn't have to talk to anyone.  Except the barista.  Who made me cry. 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Traction

I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing...in this blog, or in my life.  I can't even get the font to stay with what I chose.  Somehow I'm not thinking this is a great idea, but several friends recently have said they wanted me to blog.  So here goes.

We just moved across country and are in a period of big adjustment.  For all of us.  Including the dog.  In the couple weeks before we left, I know Lyric (the dog) sensed something was amiss.  Or at least up.  I think she got a bit worried, and we had several problems with waste elimination, if you know what I mean.  We worried about how she'd do in the car for 1200 miles, and figured the whole trip would be a massive undertaking.  We removed a seat from the car and set up her kennel, hoping to give her a "safe" place to travel.  Amazingly, it worked, and she pretty much became the best traveller in the bunch. In fact, I'm not sure we ever made a stop specifically for her.  On the other hand, for about three days she did not eat anything.  Unlike this writer, who pretty much ate constantly.  I think my dog and I process change differently.

Now we are in a temporary living arrangement in our new city.  It's a nice 3 bedroom condo, with a yard in the back, and even a doggie door. (Arizonans must love their dogs...most of the homes we've looked at seem to have doggie doors...despite the fact that many of them have no grass in the yard.)  But in what we also are finding to be typical Arizona, most of the floors are not carpeted.  What has been quite amusing to watch is my daughter playing with Lyric.  She likes to get a little wild (the daughter), and get Lyric to chase her around the house.  Only without carpet she (the dog) somewhat resembles Wylie Coyote or some other critter from ToonTown.  You know, how they run but their legs just spin and they get nowhere?  We laugh (somewhat sadistically?) as she struggles to get traction.

And then I realize that Lyric is me, struggling to get traction, but going nowhere.  Ouch! Moving isn't easy.  It's not  the packing that's tough, or even the unpacking (I hope...and I hope to find that out soon)...It's getting traction once you get there.  My daughter and I had a heart to heart last night, after she told me "I want to go home."  I know what she meant.  We're both struggling to get traction...